For: Me … basicallY

There is a lot of weird discourse on the internet. One interesting one is, “you’re single until you’re married”; I’ve heard two younger than me Black women creators say that in the span of a day or two, earlier this week. It reminded me of when people on the app formerly known as Twitter say, “don’t let your boyfriend/girlfriend stop you from finding your husband/wife!” Cringe to me but is it really???

I currently don’t have the time and energy to “roster date”, date multiple people at once (citation: people on the internet with time apparently 🤧)

But would doing so [roster dating] save someone from the pain and disappointment of putting all their “eggs” into one person’s basket while hoping for the best, but eventually being disappointed in the end and being back at square one ??? Roster dating *supposedly* eliminates this fate—being back at square one.

I asked this because I’m currently talking to someone.

Someone that I pursued.

He’s mentally stimulating (😛🧠❤️‍🔥✨) and says he wants to settle down BUT yesterday, he asked me, if I was talking to anyone on else or if I’m on the dating apps and he asked how I’d feel if he was. I should’ve said, “sir, that isn’t very monogamist of you!” Instead, I told him that he could pursue other people because we’re not dating but I may loose interest in the idea of having a relationship with him.

I typed out but didn’t press send to two versions of this message: “Do you think we should put this, meaning us, on pause and maybe revisit the idea of possibly pursuing something more serious once we’re able to meet and if we’re both still single?” I initially wrote, ‘I think we should…” instead asking him for his opinion, because I don’t want to be the one who sabotages our potential before meeting.

We didn’t come to a formalized conclusion. I didn’t text him back

but I will! eventually! No, I will! I don’t want him to avoid asking me tough questions. I did, however, express myself but now I’m left wondering if I should I be entertaining other people too or the idea of it? Am I closing myself off to meeting someone who’s willing to come to meet me on a weekend; someone who doesn’t think doing is them “reckless”?

I’ve entertained two guys at once one time but it wasn’t intentional but should I now? I’m older and time, biologically speaking, isn’t on any women’s side. Although, 🗣️ sperm has a “best if used by” date but the world isn’t ready for that conversation because the fragile male ego.

~Back to the purpose of this post. Am I letting a potential boyfriend stop me from possibly meeting my future husband? Or is this polyamorous conditioning? A lot of weird agendas are pushed online and are echoed by people with an ounce of influence, by trolls with an Amazon.com microphone, and by people with 1 follower for the sake of money and views. Knowing this, I’m automatically leery of what people preach and sell online because there’s usually an underlying agenda with a rabbit hole you can find and fall in.